Saturday, November 22, 2008

Leave Me. [L] (About Ian.)

Saw you for the first time...
In a while...
And I,
Woah I...
Don't even know what to say.
You swept me away.
With just one look in your eyes.
With just one look of my eyes.
And I...
Still need you.
I still need you... Baby....

I can't even breathe,
I need you here with me.
So baby, baby.
Tell me, Tell me.

Did you know that it was...
Something you were going to do?
To leave me?
Bleeding?
Did you know that it was...
Something you were going to do?
To leave me?
Screaming?
For you.

And I can't do this all anymore,
Without you, out here.
Can you hear me screaming?
And crying?

I can't even breathe,
I need you here with me.
So baby, baby.
Tell me, Tell me.

Did you know it was...
Something you were going to do?
To leave me?
Bleeding?
Did you know that it was...
Something you were going to do?
To leave me?
Screaming?

Save me,
Just save me,
And show me...
Who I am.
I am lost.
I am weak.
When I'm around you...
I can hardly speak.
Save me,
Oh save me,
And show me...
Who I was.
I am lost.
And I am weak,
And I am weak.

I can't even breathe,
I need you here with me.
So baby, baby.
Tell me, Tell me.

Did you know that it was...
Something you were going to do?
To leave me?
Bleeding?
Did you know that it was...
Something you were going to do?
To leave me?
Screaming?

Saw you for the first time...
In a while...
And I,
Woah I...
Why am I feeling this way?
Yeah...

Can you even breath?
Do you truly need me?
Oh baby,
I'll tell you, Tell you.

I didn't know that it was...
Something you were going to do...
To leave me...
Bleeding.
I didn't know that it was...
Something you were going to do...
To leave me...
Screaming.
To leave me...
Screaming.
To leave me...
Screaming.
To leave me, screaming.

Monday, October 20, 2008

K. [Without You. Dedicated to Abigail Lipply 10-09-08.]

The songs we once sang to make us free,
Now seem like such a burden to me.
Forgive me,
I'm sorry...
But nothing is the same.

Thought this all would always exist,
But now i know that i musn't resist...
Reality, It's time to face me.
Can somebody tell me...
How did this happen?

The songs we once sang to make us free,
Now seem like such a burden to me.
Forgive me,
I'm sorry...
But nothing is the same.

I can feel you all around me but...
You're not around and I'm stuck in this rut.
Can you tell me how this happened?
I don't know how this happened...
Will someone please tell me... how... this... happened?

The songs we once sang to make us free,
Now seem like such a burden to me.
Forgive me,
I'm sorry.
Still, nothing's the same.

Everything I thought would last forever,
Only lasted two short years,
It doesn't make any sense.
How could this happen?
Who let this happen?

The songs we once sang to make us free,
Are turning into such a burden to me,
Forgive me.
I'm sorry...
Nothing will ever be the same.

I miss you...
Oh, and to kiss you...
It'd be the sweetest thing.
I miss you...
Oh, and to hug you...
I miss you...
Oh, and to feel you...
I miss you...
Oh, and to see you...
It'd be the greatest thing.

Abby, the songs we used to sing to make us free,
Are turning into such a burden without you,
Please come back to me and please...
Forgive me.
I'm sorry...
Nothing will ever be the same.

Friday, October 3, 2008

J. [Hurricane Ian.]

So here I am,
It's been half a year,
Listening to the same song,
But through a different ear.
Thought I could trust you,
Love you,
Want you,
But I don't need you.
And this right here,
It goes out,
So far out.
To all the broken hearts,
Hurricane Ian has destroyed.
Been there, done that,
That's that.
Yet here I am,
It's been half a year,
Listening to the same song,
But through a different ear.
Thought I could trust you,
Love you,
Want you,
But baby, Baby, I don't need you.
Yeah here I am,
It's been half a year,
Listening to your same old song,
But through a different ear.
Thought I could live for you,
Die for you,
Hope for you,
But honey I won't cry for you.
It's only a mistake,
If you don't learn your lesson,
It's only a mistake,
If I don't learn my lesson.
Baby I learned, I learned,
But you're still one big mistake.
So how come I'm still here?
It's been much more than half a year,
Listening to the same song,
But through my other ear.
Even though i held you,
Kissed you,
Fuck you,
I don't need you.
I don't need you.
I don't need you.
So here I am,
It's been half a year,
Listening to the same song,
But through a different ear.
Thought I could trust you,
Love you,
Want you,
But I don't need you.

Monday, September 22, 2008

I. [Mackenzie is a pussy's name.]

So here's to wishful thinking,
I've failed too, too, too many times.
Thought this game was up and over,
Six months ago, Exactly half a year.
But i'm in the same exact spot,
Same exact spot,
Playing the same exact game,
Same exact game,
With everyone but you.
He may not be you but I see,
I see your face in his reflection.
He's definately not you but I see,
I see your twisted grin between his teeth.
He'll never be you but I see,
I see that he's truly just exactly like you.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

[Not a Song/Poem, Just Having A Bad Day.]

Fuck people.
Seriously.
Fuck them all.
I fucking hate people.
Especially the people I'm closest to.
Screw them all.
Because I can't even trust my own fucking BROTHER.
So who else can I trust?
Nobody.
Thanks everybody for being so fucking UNTRUSTWORTHY.
You stupid pieces of shit.
I fucking hate you all.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

H. [My Own Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes.]

When I was a young thing I never imagined,
Never ever imagined that you'd be so shallow,
So conceited, and so incredibly apathetic.
Tell me what do you do with all that apathy,
Tell me what do you do with all your apathy?
Nothing at all, the one thing I knew...
Nothing at all.

And here goes the last straw,
You think you know me but you don't,
I thought I knew you but boy...
I was wrong. Always wrong,
Never right, Never write...
Me again.

I never imagined I'd fall in love for you...
Fall in love for you just to get caught in a web,
Weaved in your lab as your test subject.
Now I ask what you do with all that apathy,
Tell me what do you do with all that...
Nothing at all, the one thing I know...
Nothing at all.

And here goes the last straw,
You think you know me but you don't,
I thought I knew you but boy...
I was wrong. Always wrong,
Never right, Never write...
Me again.

Said you love me but you don't,
Asked you to share your life but you won't,
Just deny, deny, deny...
But I know the truth...
The one thing i know...
Nothing...
Nothing...
Nothing at all.

And here goes my last straw,
I thought I knew you but I don't,
You thought you knew me but boy...
You were wrong. Always wrong,
Never right, Never write...
Me again.

But kiss me, I'll try to wipe away...
Your apathy... so strong, so cold...
Kiss me, I'm trying to wipe you away...
Wipe you away, wipe you away...

Here it goes, my last straw,
You thought you knew me but you don't...
I thought I knew you but ohhh boy...
I was wrong. Always wrong,
Never right, Never write...
Again.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

G. [Everything, everyone, anything, and nothing.]

Putting these hands around my own neck,
There's nothing left to say when everyone knows,
Everyone knows everything was your fault.
I'm sick and tired of this lie you call life,
Living in the past and dwelling on mistakes,
So much is wrong with this.
What the hell is wrong with you?

Everything and everything melts to your touch,
Everything and everyone bows to your majesty,
Oh everything and anything was loyal to you and your
You and your lying life, you made it out of nothing.
There will be nothing like this...
Coming from you...
Ever again.

Well here's my gun so if you could please,
Please pull the trigger at my head you know...
You know that I'd be more greatful to you than
I have been in the past eight years.
Eight fucking years of your fucking lies and hate.
And two thousand nine hundred twenty days later
I'm still here drowning in your fucking aftermath.

Everything and everything melts to your touch,
Everything and everyone bows to your majesty,
Oh everything and anything was loyal to you and your
You and your lying life, you made it out of nothing.
So there will be nothing like this...
Coming from you...
Ever again.

If I can help it...
And I will help it.
I will not stand down...
This time.
If I can help it...
And I will help it.
I will not stand down...
I will not stand down...
Not this time.

Restrict me again because you know you cant,
You can't hold me back again,
Your ominously loathing eyes stare at me,
This time you will be the one played...
I don't really know what this is but it's helping
Much more than you ever did, though I don't know
No I don't know what this is.

And you definately won't know what this is
When it hits you like a train to your body.
Taking your toll into consideration...
I'm taking your life into my consideration,
Into my hands and I won't let go though I
Might strangle it a little bit to make you taste
What I tasted when you left me behind.

So nothing, no nothing will melt to your touch,
And nobody will ever bow to your majesty,
Oh nothing will be loyal to you and your
You and your lying life, you made it out of nothing.
So there will be nothing like this...
Coming from you...
Ever again.

If I can help it...
And I will help it.
I will not stand down...
This time.
If I can help it...
And I will help it.
I will not stand down...
I will not stand down...
Not this time.

Everything and everything melts to your touch,
Everything and everyone bows to your majesty,
Oh everything and anything was loyal to you and your
You and your lying life but you made it out of nothing.
So there will be nothing like this...
Coming from you...
Ever again.

I will help it,
I won't stand down,
Not this time...
No, not this time.

Friday, June 27, 2008

F. [Hook and Line.]

In my darkest dreams, my fears,
Selfishly alone, I scream for you.
Your evil face appears,
Only this from my past is damn true.
Your strangling arms enfold me,
My nightmares of the past escaping.
The difference, I believe,
Is your face so newly decieving.

Hook and Line, You had me...
I was yours forever.
Ending yesturday, I will not love you anymore.
Though hook and line... you had me.

This is in your court now girl,
I dont know how to play this game and...
My disdain keeps me, Girl,
Away from your tricks and games, I run.
You can't take away my pain,
You don't get to break me then make me...
Make me fall back in your reign,
Like I come as a dime per dozen.

Hook and Line, You had me...
I was yours forever.
Ending yesturday, I will not love you anymore.
Though hook and line... you had me.

I'll keep my heart safe from you...
This time it all will be different.
This time I will not be who...
Who you want me to be, so helpless.
I am not your possession,
You will not keep me down anymore.
Away in your digression,
This is my new personal escape.

"Hook and Line, You have me...
I'm yours forever."
Ending yesturday, I will not love you anymore.
Though hook and line... you had me.
Hook and Line, You had me...
I was yours forever.
Ending yesturday, I will not love you anymore.
So hook and line... you can't have me.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

E.

Now I'm walking on a different side of the road,
For some reason I will never know.
Well, I'm standing here...
Roaming here...
Of a time that ceased to exist...
Long ago.
Do I turn around to the past...
Do I continue on in my present,
My future?
Where there is no escape,
As time turns to dust...
There's nothing left to return to.
Which place will fit best?
I bet nobody knows,
And that alone doesn't matter...
I just wish that I knew.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Am I you?
Is this why...
So many things in life are unexplained,
For me?
Things continue to change,
The scenery around me...
I cannot blame,
For having time warped.
Too sadly soon,
This place will be a wasteland,
Only I will remember.
Should I live the way I remember?
Should I live the way I know?
And in the end...
Is there a difference?





[Written while walking where I used to live for eleven or so years of my life. I will never ever forget that place where reality seemed to turn into my own medicine store... I could choose to accept what I wanted and throw out what I didn't want. I will never forget those days or those memories created by me and my family... including my best friends. I won't forget any of it.]

Friday, June 13, 2008

D. [[Without you.]]

As I walk through the valley,
Of the shadow of you,
Live as your after effect,
I begin to progress,
Soon I will be free.

Fading into your future,
I’m fading into your past.

All too soon you won’t miss me,
I knew it wouldn’t last.
Say goodbye,
This is goodbye.


Is there anything,
Left of me,
Left of us,
Left to save?
Is there anything,

Left to do,
Left to fix,
Am I brave?

Fading into your future,
I’m fading into your past.
All too soon you won’t miss me,
I knew it wouldn’t last.
Say goodbye,
This is goodbye.

I can spell me without you,
Green without blue, Now.
I can be free without you,
Breathe without you now.
I can see me without you,
Fly without you, how?
Now I am free without you,

So free without you, wow.

Fading into your future,
I’m fading into your past.
All too soon you won’t miss me,
I knew it wouldn’t last.
Say goodbye,
This is goodbye.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

C [this one sucks]

A world without you,
Is the world I died for,
All this time I found true,
This is what I'd have to die for.

One moment of peace,
One moment of rest,
Without you taking my peace,
Without you ruining my rest.

Your face no longer memory burned,
No more nightmares of you,
Your smell no longer yearned,
This is one thing I now find true.

A world without you,
Is the world I died for,
All this time I found true,
This is what I'd have to die for.

Now that I'm dead,
The only thing left to hope for is life,
Nothing left to dread,
And forever no more strife.

Your voice no longer remembered,
I can be me again,
You can no longer have my soul, dismembered,
I will no longer be your drain.

A world without you,
Is the world I died for,
All this time I found true,
This is what I'd have to die for.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

B

I can feel the breeze,
Flowing through my hair,
I can picture the sea,
Just me and you... laying there.
Dance like nobody's watching,
Everybody is,
Sing like nobody's listening,
Everybody is,
Live like you will never live...
Again.
I can feel your hand,
Softly caressing my face,
This is my only demand,
That this be your true place.
[In my arms]
Show me to dance like nobody's watching,
Everybody is,
Show me to sing like nobody's listening,
Everybody is,
Show me to live like I will never live...
Again.
I can hear your voice,
Singing into my ear,
You are my only choice,
With me... you have to be here.
So I can dance like nobody's watching,
When everybody is,
So I can sing like nobody's listening,
When everybody is,
So I can live like I will never live...
Again.
I need to know how to live again,
how to live,
I need to know how to dance again,
how to dance...
With you is my only place,
I hope yours is the same,
I need to know how to sing again,
how to sing.
Dance like nobody's watching,
Though everybody is,
Sing like nobody's listening,
Though everybody is,
And yet isn't that the beauty?
To live like you will never live...
Again?...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

A

It seems like everywhere I turn
Your face is hiding in the darkness
But now its your turn
Start to watch as the tables spin.

One day I will win,
Win,
One day I will crush,
Crush...
You.

And every time I just want a break
Your laugh rings in my head
Making it hard to breath I'm going to break
Everything that ever reminds me of you.

One day I will smile,
Smile,
One day I will laugh,
Laugh...
Again.

There will no longer be hurt,
There will no longer be pain,
There will only be hate,

There will only be anger,
When I see your face.

You are not sneaky,
You are not kind,
You are not secretive,
You are not part of my mind,
Anymore.


One day I will win,
Win,
One day I will smile,
Smile.
One day I will crush,
One day I will laugh,
One day I will dance...
Again.